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Ever notice that a human baby doesn't walk until it's tall enough to reach a parent's hand?

"There is only one pretty child in the world and every parent has it."- Chinese Proverb.

Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child ...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children will soon forget your presents, but they will always remember your presence.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.

We did have to childproof our home about 3 years ago ... but somehow they still get in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool a Mom.

I love to give homemade gifts ...which one of my kids do you want?

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.

The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the asprin bottle: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN

Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born.

If evolution really works how come mothers only have two hands?

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul.

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they share a common enemy.

Children have never been very good at listening to adults but they have never failed to imitate them.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Sometimes I wish I were a kid again; skinned knees are a lot easier to fix than a broken heart.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.



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